A POOR EXCUSE FOR A NINJA tried to scale a 5 foot fence and ended up falling and impaling himself on it instead. The story has nothing to do with a pirate but I’m just a big fan of the pic above. here

HOMELESS CANNIBALS were busted for selling human corpses to a kebab house in Russia. I’m not sure what’s grosser… the fact that these homeless people were cannibals or the fact that a kebab house was buying meat from freaking homeless people. here

THE DUTCH USE SHIT to power homes. I use shit to throw at people. here

TWO IDIOT STONERS got busted for doing/selling pot when they called the cops to report that some of their pot had been stolen. Not surprising really. here

[kudos to jillian for the ninja sighting]