A good friend of mine named Craig loves trains way more than any human being should. The dude seriously gets a hard on when he hears a loud CHOO CHOO. So I have to apologize for the late posting here, but I had to finish sanitizing my computer after Craig blew his load all over it after watching this clip. I’ll show you guys the video later, but it more or less looks the same as the one above. And yes, I film all of my friends jerk off at my desk… you don’t?
The website says this…
Introducing Hip Handmaids’ exclusive iMaxi—the only Apple iPad case made with protective wings!
Protective wings??? You mean, the only iPad case to look like a fucking vagina sponge… Also, it’s a little early to be boasting “the only” when the iPad hasn’t even come out yet, but I digress… It’s a pretty nifty little case. And while I realize this is not the real intention of the product, I am happy that the Octomom finally has access to a pad that can cover her entire vagina.
More pics after the jump…
I wanted to give a RIP shout out to Boner. Terrible stuff man, from a character that was literally a TV staple in my household growing up. He died of an apparent suicide, and his body was found in a park he was fond of.
Take a sec and watch the video. Last time old Boner was on Growing Pains. Oh the memories.
BTW, remind me never to be a victim of a crime in Vancouver. If you read the article it turns out that Andrew’s family and friends found his body, not the cops. Apparently they missed it because it was not on the path. Crack police work there guys. I can just see it now, “No worries Mrs. Piliero, we will catch your son’s killer, as long as he is running on a clearly marked path.” Fucking nice.
Feb25
In case you needed a reason to join: Conan O’Brien officially has a twitter
Posted at 1:57 PM • Comments
I love me some Coco and the news of him joining Twitter gave me a well deserved boner. Shortly after, Kirk Cameron began praying for it.
Obviously on top of what is hot right now in late night comedy, there are reports that NBC has signed the squirrel to take over Late Night as soon as their Olympic coverage has ended. Sorry, Jimmy.
I’m not 100% sure on that second part… the evidence could go either way… but he’s definitely riding on that subway, ain’t he. Ha, look at that clever little bastard waiting for his stop. He thinks he’s a human! But he sure isn’t! He’s a bird!!!
Me and this pigeon seem to have a lot in common. We’re both patient on the subway. We’re both adorable. And we both enjoy hiding in trees and shitting on people’s heads in the park.
So I watch Growing Pains reruns now and think “When I was a kid I watched a family sitcom where the main character’s friend was named ‘Boner.’ That totally seems reasonable.”
That is kind of really awesome. I tip my hat and drop my pants in salute to the creators of Growing Pains. Truth be told, I often stare down at my boner and sing “Show me that smile again…” So yeah…
As you may have heard, we have a missing Boner on our hands. Andrew Koenig, the actor who played Boner on Growing Pains, hasn’t been heard from in quite awhile and missed a flight he was supposed to be on and might be going through a dark dark time of depression. Not to worry, though, an old friend has reached out to him to try and bring some light back into his life. Which friend, you ask? Why, good ol Mike Effen Seaver, thank you very much!
Radaronline got some words from Mr. Kirk Cameron, himself, and by far the best part is when he says this:
If you’re reading this, please call me. Mike and Boner could always work things out when they put their minds to it. I’m praying for you, pal. Hope to hear from you soon.
Ummmmmm, you know that Growing Pains was a show, right? And you worked things out because that is the way they were in the script, right? I mean if we can write scripts that real life has to comply with, I have one right here on my desk called “Chris Marrs Piliero inexplicable fondled by Super Models on the street.” It is a real page turner…
Well police are saying that Andrew is still alive and most likely just laying low, so hopefully that’s true and he’s alright. His family is asking for anyone who might have some knowledge of his whereabouts to please inform the police. Like I said, they think he’s alive, but not in the greatest mind-state so getting him in good hands asap is kinda important. More info HERE
Anyway, Mike Seaver is right, him and Boner could always work things out. Of course many times it involved a lot of lotion, and ended with Boner throwing up and Mike feeling really sleepy, but it did always work out.
Feb22
Moon Over FAILammy: Denny’s accidentally tells customers to follow random Taiwanese dude on Twitter
Posted at 11:46 AM • Comments
Since October 2009, the lunchtime menu for the Denny’s restaurants has told their customers to follow them on Twitter at twitter.com/dennys. Great to see them embracing the popularity of social networking. Unfortunately for them, @dennys belongs to some random Taiwanese dude who enjoys jogging named Dennys.
A Denny’s rep says the menus are a result of a misprint, and that they run two Twitter accounts: @DennysAllNightr for late night customers and @DennysGrandSlam for morning people. Both of those are featured on the respective late night and breakfast menus. The normal menus, however, still point you to Mr. Hsieh.
This all makes sense to me now… I was wondering how I got so lucky when @dennys kept offering to make sure I always had a sausage in my mouth for every meal. Not lucky my friends, not lucky at all it turns out.
[VIA]
Epic Beard Man’s epicness continues… I have a bunch of casting shit I’m doing for some videos I’m working on so I will comment later on this, but for now enjoy this post-bus beat down interview.
Feb18
Waiting In Line, Nazis, and Tarantino. 2 Of My 3 Favorite Things. Sorry Quentin.
Posted at 2:45 PM • Comments
I kid, I kid. I hate Nazis as much as the next guy. But I loves me some Nazi killing mayhem. Hence me going to INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS The Lost Art of the Film @ Upper Playground Gallery. 13 artists have created their representation of the movie poster, and they are selling 6 of each print, signed by Tarantino no less, so they will go fast.
My favorite is the one I posted, but follow the link to check them all out. And all the proceeds go to Haiti relief so good cause too.
It should be a great show. And I put my money where my mouth is people! I am in line as you read this!
So if you are in downtown LA tonight, get out and support the gallery, support Haiti, and support killing Nazis. Brad Pitt would want you to.
Feb17
Holy Crap, the internet is loving up this video of an old white dude beating up a gangsta
Posted at 4:03 PM • CommentsIn case you didn’t catch it from the subject line… this is a video of some old dude with a santa beard (forever to be known as Epic Beard Man) laying the beat down on a gangsta dude on the bus. A lot of people are quick to say that the gangsta dude hit first so he deserved what he got, but I dunno… it sounds like there might have been some racial shit going on early in the conversation of the video and who knows what was said before the camera started rolling.
Santa knows how to punch, but from the sound of it, he might be kinda an asshole, and he better hope this ain’t a hate crime caught on tape or else he might wanna be careful the next time he gets on a bus with a bunch of black people. Whatever the case, I haven’t seen a fight this lopsided since Apollo Creed fought that Russian dude in Rocky IV.
TRANSLATION HELP: At the end, the gangsta dude asks for an “ambulance” not “m & m’s” or “amber lamps” just to clear things up… oh and Epic Beard Man’s shirt says “I AM A MOTHER FUCKER” on the back
UPDATE: Part 2 after the jump along with a recap from the chick who shot the first video (Epic Beard Man was apparently arrested)…
ANOTHER UPDATE: Sweet Lord Epic Beard Man is pretty fucking epic. Apparent video of him getting tazed at a baseball game added…’
AND ANOTHER!: Buy your very own “I AM A MOTHER FUCKER” t-shirt HERE
MORE!!!: Epic Beard Man has a facebook HERE and a twitter HERE
WEEEEEEEEE: Added a video by the chick who filmed the bus incident and maybe stole Epic Beard Man’s bag… maybe not….
[kudos to m@ for his love of crazy old white men]
