Actual Product: Hug E Gram, a creepy way to show you care
Valentine’s Day has come and gone and I’m a little let down by all of you. Not one of you bastards got me a set of creepy Mickey Mouse arms to wrap around my body and strangle me, jerk me off, hug me all day while listening to some retarded fucked up recorded voice message. [...]
Morning Dose Of Fail
Ok so this post wasn’t made so much in the morning as it was at noon, but I woke up late, so….yeah. This is the trailer for a Japanese video game that involves running around as a body builder in a speedo and doing shit. Why is this a fail you ask? Well [...]
Buy This: Mr. Moustache Pillow
Creepy and awesome, the Mr. Mustache Pillow comes with interchangeable mustaches and a plastic holding sleeve in the back for $60. Buy it here
This Is An Actual Product: How To Date A White Woman, A Practical Guide For Asian Men
I wonder if tip one of this book is: Never show them your penis.
Buy it here
This Is An Actual Product: Stuffed Tiger With A Vagiger
I was gonna write some commentary on this, but once I started staring at this sucker I figured I just had to let my body do the talking.
Buy It and more creepy vaginatastic stuffed animals Here
CHECK OUT A LOVELY GROUP SHOT PIC
You Should Buy Me This
Actually I don’t really need them. It would kinda be redundant. I can just cut a whole in a pair of pants I already have and you can save your money ’cause my peen is already black, fantastic, and made of fabric.
This Is An Actual Product: Roadkill Cat Kids Toy
That kid in the corner is way too happy about this poor dead cat.
This Is An Actual Product: Pokemon Menstrual Pad
For that special lady friend of yours with a wide-set vagina and a heavy flow, here’s the resuable Pokemon Menstrual Pad, cuz when the bleeding starts ya gotta catch it all.
BUY IT HERE
[kudos to m@ for the find]
[via]
Buy This Now: Wear This To Your Next Kanye Hating Club Meeting
Awesome shirt. Only available today from TEEFURY
Side note, teefury sells each design for one day only and they are sometimes very cool. That is all.
This Might Bring Pedophiles To Toys R’ Us, Um Moreso
Seriously? Check the actual product page for these Sesame Street Elmo Tickle Hands and tell me these are not a pedophile’s dream product.
My favorite line is this:
“When child touches a surface, the hand begins to vibrate and you’ll get fun phrases from Elmo and silly sound effects.”
WTF!
Jesus, the only way to make this more [...]
This Is An Actual Product: Fleshlight Liberator
As if it wasn’t weird enough to fuck a flashlight with lips, the makers of The Fleshlight are just delighted to bring us the Liberator. It’ll only cost you $149.95… and your dignity. Buy it here
This Is An Actual Product – Vulva Pendant, Yup, A Vulva Pendant
So it’s been awhile since I’ve done an “Actual Product” post and a bunch of you readers out there have been clamoring (wink) for one, so I present to you the VULVA PENDANT.
Unfortunately it’s sold out (really???), but let’s have a looksy at the item description for a nice little WHAT. THE. FUCK. moment…
Celebrate your [...]
Ebay Of The Day
Got an extra $350? You too could be Dr. Huxtable… a super fat Dr. Huxtable, but a Huxtable, nonetheless. Buy It Here
Who Wants Their Lips To Smell And Taste Like Bacon 24/7? You do!
From the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise comes… Bacon Lip Balm! Who knew people loved the taste of bacon constantly on their lips? I did!!! So why are girls always complaining that my weener smells like a Denny’s Grand Slam then??? I’m giving you girls the full breakfast special… I’m [...]
Greatest New Product Ever Today: Bikini That Dissolves In Water!
Wow. This is pure genius. A company in Germany has created a bikini that looks, feels, and fits like a regular bikini. The only difference is that this one will completely disappear when in water for 3 minutes. NICE!
The company boasts it as the perfect revenge product for an ex-girlfriend, but [...]
Fetch, Sit, Roll Over… Good Boy, Now Go Hump Your Sex Doll
Why have them chew on a plastic bone, when they can bone a plastic dog?
Yup, it’s real, kiddos. The DoggieLoveDoll is coming to a pet store near you. I was gonna say that they could of at least made it look a little more realistic, but then again… I used to hump my [...]
I NEED THIS: Handerpants!
Got money to burn? Well why not waste $11.95 (plus shipping) on underwear for your hands?! Who needs these? EVERYBODY. Oh btw, as the site takes the time to point out, these are “GREAT FOR JAZZ HANDS.” If that’s not a key selling point, I don’t know what is. [...]
WTF: FootPee! Pack
Sorry I disappeared this afternoon. I had to bury some bodies and only had a garden shovel, so it took awhile. But I’m back and I bring you the FootPee! Pack, a sure bet for “Most Popular Gift” this Christmas!
It’s for everyone out there who’s thought to themselves “Ya know what… Pissing on [...]
Did I Just Buy Reading Glasses?
I’m not sure what it is exactly I just purchased from American Apparel, but I bought 5 of them.
And I’m 99% sure that American Apparel uses 18+ models for these things, so yeah, there’s nothing pedo about this…
This Could Get Messy Real Fast
The Go Plate was designed so you never have to put your beer down to go for a food run. I’m thinking you could make some crafty drinking games with it, as well. Buy it HERE
Hello Kitty Vibrators
Say Hello to the Hello Kitty Vibrating Shoulder Massager. I bought one of these for my friend, Brittany, for Christmas. I’m pretty sure she’s not using it on her shoulder.
This Is An Actual Product – Condom Pillows + Full Body Condom!!!
This is way to awesome to be true, but it is… These pillows are real. They have a hidden pocket to store real condoms and then there’s also a pocket that holds a giant-sized full-body condom so you can protect yourself as you enter into Paris Hilton’s vagina. HEYO! (Ya see, it’s [...]
Did The Devil Use To Head The Marketing Department For Post Cereal?
I’m pretty sure the answer is “yes.”
This Is An Actual Product
Now that is pretty misleading. Nothing like some jussipussi to start the day off with a bang (zing!).
